Who Eats Jellified Cranberry Sauce?

Here we go. Thanksgiving weekend.

I had another awesome family gathering. When we mix a phenomenal all-around chef of different cuisines (my dad!) and a kitchen enthusiast aunt who never ever gets tired of trying out a new recipe, what do we get? Food Fest! Sure as heck my taste buds were screaming in orgasmic delight. 

If my stomach had its fill, my wallet the next day had its immediate, shocking bulimic panic attack. Lotions, moisturizers, spray mists, shower gel, cuticle cream? (eww). I was confused. Headache.. no, migraine sprouted as my sinuses couldn’t handle all the smell lingering around Victoria’s Secret oops.. did I reveal too much? and Bath and Body. Now, you’re probably wondering, and no, not for me but for the females on my Christmas list that were good so far this year. Mmm..k?

Other than that, Thanksgiving had been great this weekend, not because of the extravagant ginormous feast that we had or the taking advantage of deals in the malls the following day. I just realized that oftentimes I take for granted a lot of things I have, that there are tons of them that I should be thankful for (special mention to my friend Lydia for inspiring me in this post):

  • My life, which is nowhere perfect. It gave me a lot of strife and relief, and hardships and accomplishments along the way, and it was the best teacher I’ve ever had.
  • My family, although imperfect and broken, yet a loving and caring one.
  • The job I have. Not the best paying one, but I love it and it pays enough.
  • My friends. I’m not Mr. Popular, but I’m blessed with awesome loving brothers and sisters in Christ.
  • I’m not a star athlete by any means, but I have fully functional sets of legs, arms and a body that I take care of.
  • I don’t drive a BWM or sweet ricer car (haha), but my dad had given me a reliable car that takes me to places.
  • I’m not a rock star (yet), but I’ve had experience playing different kinds of musical instruments, and I better myself everyday practicing playing.
  • The places and cultures I’ve been exposed to. I might not be able to go whereever I feel like, but I’ve been, seen and experienced more than what most will ever will in their whole life.
  • I’m not a perfect communicator, but I can speak more than one language with an added plus of a sweet, sexy accent.
  • All that I need, not necessarily what I wanted, but it suffices enough. More than enough.
  • I don’t know what my future lies ahead of me, but looking back, I can see how God had guided and put me as to what I am now.

It is just amazing how oftentimes we have something a lot of things that we don’t really deserve in the first place.

Why? I don’t know.

But what I know is by giving ourselves up, we receive more than what we need, even more than what we could ever fathom to ask for.

“25 – 21”

pittman's winning touchdown

“The inner monkey within me screamed frantically.?

‘Nuff said.

Prozac anyone?

Nowadays, I can’t help but notice that people aren’t that happy. Not the “happy-go-lucky? type, or the antithesis of depression, but that seemingly sinking feeling of uncontentment and emptyness that perpetually occurs.

But then what really is being happy? It’s a vague word.

Happiness, pleasure or joy is the emotional state of being happy. The definition of happiness is one of the greatest philosophical quandaries. Proposed definitions include freedom from want and distress, consciousness of the good order of things, assurance of one’s place in the universe or society, inner peace, and so forth…

So from this online definition, happiness comes to people as a self-fulfillment of something that is deeply desired. Maybe it’s an academic or career achievements. Or finding that special ’someone’. It could be obtaining rooted material things. Or maybe being ‘happy’ happens when we achieve that so called “American Dream.? Once we get these achievements, what now? Are we then truly happy as we bask in our own glorified interests? Do they even really matter?

In posting this, I am in no way depressed in some sort. In fact, life’s been more awesome lately! Just something about tonight’s observation from people who seemed to be masking themselves struck me. It concerns me a lot that when some people resort to a temporary solution to fill up an empty hole in their life, they are suddenly ‘happy’.  Or are they? Most of the time, this continual cycle of feeding the endless void goes on and on to keep that individual ‘happy’. Often times if not the birth of an addiction, a settlement for something less is acquired. Is this really the good life?

What is our deepest desire? Does it fullfill us? Maybe we’re not desiring enough. Maybe this not always about ‘us’. Or maybe it’s both, that we’re desiring too much of our interests for our own selves. Or it could be that it’s the other way around, that maybe what we deeply desire is not for the best of our interests…

Caramel Cappucino. Hmmm!

When I was a little kid, maybe around at the age of 8 or so, I always believed that praying is one heck of an ordealing process.

First and foremost, there goes the sign of the cross (I was raised under a Catholic family). Back then, it seemed that my prayer wouldn’t get “validated” unless I perform the sign of the cross first. It was some sort of a ‘key’ to open the door for initiating a conversation with the boss upstairs.

After I get “access: granted”, then the whole litany begins. The body of a prayer consists anything from thanking the Lord for letting me get an ‘A’ in some sort of a quiz earlier that day, to asking for forgiveness for cheating my way on that quiz to get an ‘A’.

Then there are times when I absolutely don’t have anything to say at all in the first place. I ‘pray’ just because the nun in my values/ethics class told us to do so. We recite the Lord’s prayer altogether, and most of the time, ‘Hail Mary’ (a devotion prayer to Mary, mother of Jesus) was also included. It was like a recital. The class would be divided in half. The first half will recite the first part of Hail Mary, the second half does the second part of the Hail Mary. Then it goes back and forth for an x number of times. It confused me. We get scolded if we recited the wrong part.

After all is said and done, the sign of the cross has to be done again to close the prayer. Like licking the flaps of the mail envelope and stamping it, ready to be sent out. If there is no stamp, the mail will be sent back to you, likewise if you did not perform the sign of the cross. Being the naive child I was, I thought maybe that’s why there were a lot of unanswered prayers.

Those were the times…

As I looked back, it’s kinda funny to think that praying should not be that trivial and organized. I shouldn’t have thought so hard of what to say, how to say it, and when to say what I have to say to God, Heck, I don’t even have to have anything to say at all! Because real relationships don’t require constant verbal transmission all the time. There are some mute couples in the world too, you know.

Presence is what matters most.

Do we focus to Him when we pray? Does He have our undivided attention? I would be somewhat upset if a person doesn’t really focus on our conversation when we talk.

So think about those fleeting thoughts we have while walking through the oval. When we think of someone because we care about them. How about the times when we ponder what on earth are we here for? As I write this post, I think about the words God is putting in me.

The heart of worship is pure at its purest. We should let our feelings and emotions out. I’m sure God cares on what’s going on with our individual lives. We can pray happy, scared, thankful, pissed off, doubtful, and everything else in between. Even Jesus cried out to God feeling abandoned on the cross. See? He wants us relating to Him. He longs for our relationship. He longs for our desires. He desires in us.

Yes. You!

If He is present in our prayers, our hearts and minds are open to Him. We can pour our heart out, even if there is nothing to say at all. I’m sure it’ll be nice to know that somebody thinks of you, somehow… And that’s what He wants in our prayers.

So let’s grab a couple of cup of cappucino, and enjoy this moment doing nothingness…

Piffy Cool Sunday

Had the chance today for yet another quality family bonding time. Three things I learned today:

1. Girls’ pant sizes don’t come in size 56! What an ordeal, thanks to my cousin for informing me that if such exists, they would be called ‘blankets’. Don’t even take me to my junior high years when (according to her) I thought all girls were either anorexic or bulimic (my speech by the way was taken waay out of context).

2. It’s not a good idea to leave cooked rice in the open for more than seven days. I had the luxury of discovering those tiny little black eggs/dots/clusters of little blackheads (or whatever they were) on them. Like snow on top of mountainranges, except the snow was black. Yuck! Think little spider mamba laid eggs on top of them. I jusst… don’t know. I don’t think I can look at ‘sinangag’ the same way again..

3. Taking risks is a very hard thing to do, especially for me. I’m not talking about the type of luck-on-the-slots-in-Vegas kind of way. It just comes down to the idea of putting faith into something that you cannot have absolute control whatsoever. Being a control freak that I am, that thought discomforts me. In a big way. Not even a hint of security, assurance, or insurance. Nothing at all.

What if…?

Money lost in Vegas due to risking for a potential higher return (or a Rolex watch/virginity/any shiny jewelry) would be okay since monetary value can be replaced easily, except dignity, and whatever happened in Vegas stays there anyway (yes, its old) But.. what if you risked something that doesn’t have a price tag attached to it? Say a friendship with someone you hold dear. A relationship that you cherish. Your reputation. What others think of you. These investments of a lifetime in time, trust and energy shattering in an instant if something awry came along the way. Isn’t that disheartening? To me, quite much.

You take the big leap. Didn’t quite made it.

What will happen? Once its gone… what can replace it? Would it be the same? Is there even anything that can replace it?

This whole risky business thing just bugged me to the extreme. But what I realized tonight changed it.

I am ready to take the plunge. I fact I can feel the rush. I will plant the seed. It will not be easy along the rocky road, I might lose some things that I worked hard for, including my image, and its mirrored selfishness. I don’t have to worry about steering the wheel. I’ve given that up to Him. I’m just eager to freefall. I am just ready to fall back in the arms of grace.

Captain Planet is my Hero

There was just something about last night’s weather that struck me. Right after my Calculus midterm, which was very intruiging in terms of difficulty that I’d rather not talk about for it gives me the hives just thinking about it. It was cold. Windy. The leaves were flying and freaking out everywhere touching my feet. I was wearing flipflops and shorts(because the weather 6 hours ago was around mid-60s) . Then it also rained hardcore that later at night.

I dunno what was I thinking, as usual.

But what I knew was that on my journey from Postle Hall in the Dentistry College on my way alll the way back to my place at 14th, I was cold, shivering, and a little miserable just because of my body’s inability to generate enough heat to keep me warm (thus I envy elephants, cows, sea gargantuans and the like). Then here’s the booya part:

I actually enjoyed the cold weather, the winds’ whistlings, and the leaves encircling my feet as I walk back to my apartment. We don’t always get that kind of weather situation here in Ohio where it’s either hot and sunny or gray and humid. Then the rain with lightning flashes was awesome. Not trying to be corny with my descriptions but they were truly beautiful.

That kept me thinking, Wow.. I could actually appreciate God’s creations despite of my not-so-great condition! I didn’t heard myself grumbling that it was indeed freezing.

To wrap up, it just seems that people are always preoccupied with their own little boxed agenda, too busy to appreciate the nice little things around them. Especially here in corporate America, it’s all about the “me” attitude. It’s all about me. That’s satisfying for me. What’s in it for me. All for me. Me. Me. Me!! I guess some people are just missing out on some of the greatest things in life.  And these things are not “given” to us, I tell you that. Rather, it’s what we give out. The unsolicited, genuine little acts of love and kindness that we give out wholeheartedly.

On the other note, I checked out Chi Alpha Fellowship tonight. Good impression for a first time visitor. Laid back atmosphere, very friendly and welcoming people, and sincere worship. I think I’m gonna stick around for some time.

Moosic

These bands rocks my socks off, and my shoes as well.

 Lifehouse - No Name Face  Switchfoot - The Beautiful Letdown

Free advertising for them, but I absolutely enjoy their musical talents and I can relate to songwriting abilities.