Piffy Cool Sunday

Had the chance today for yet another quality family bonding time. Three things I learned today:

1. Girls’ pant sizes don’t come in size 56! What an ordeal, thanks to my cousin for informing me that if such exists, they would be called ‘blankets’. Don’t even take me to my junior high years when (according to her) I thought all girls were either anorexic or bulimic (my speech by the way was taken waay out of context).

2. It’s not a good idea to leave cooked rice in the open for more than seven days. I had the luxury of discovering those tiny little black eggs/dots/clusters of little blackheads (or whatever they were) on them. Like snow on top of mountainranges, except the snow was black. Yuck! Think little spider mamba laid eggs on top of them. I jusst… don’t know. I don’t think I can look at ‘sinangag’ the same way again..

3. Taking risks is a very hard thing to do, especially for me. I’m not talking about the type of luck-on-the-slots-in-Vegas kind of way. It just comes down to the idea of putting faith into something that you cannot have absolute control whatsoever. Being a control freak that I am, that thought discomforts me. In a big way. Not even a hint of security, assurance, or insurance. Nothing at all.

What if…?

Money lost in Vegas due to risking for a potential higher return (or a Rolex watch/virginity/any shiny jewelry) would be okay since monetary value can be replaced easily, except dignity, and whatever happened in Vegas stays there anyway (yes, its old) But.. what if you risked something that doesn’t have a price tag attached to it? Say a friendship with someone you hold dear. A relationship that you cherish. Your reputation. What others think of you. These investments of a lifetime in time, trust and energy shattering in an instant if something awry came along the way. Isn’t that disheartening? To me, quite much.

You take the big leap. Didn’t quite made it.

What will happen? Once its gone… what can replace it? Would it be the same? Is there even anything that can replace it?

This whole risky business thing just bugged me to the extreme. But what I realized tonight changed it.

I am ready to take the plunge. I fact I can feel the rush. I will plant the seed. It will not be easy along the rocky road, I might lose some things that I worked hard for, including my image, and its mirrored selfishness. I don’t have to worry about steering the wheel. I’ve given that up to Him. I’m just eager to freefall. I am just ready to fall back in the arms of grace.

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2 Responses to “Piffy Cool Sunday”

  1. Blake Latham Says:

    Wow, this webpage that you have created is awesome. This whole page of your thoughts. Amazing writing man and an amazing life. You are truly a great person and I miss not being able to hang out with you being so far South from Ohio now as I am. You are very blessed and you know it and I see so many great things in the future for you and those that meet you. God truly uses you and it is because you let him and you obviously let it be known that this is the case.

    Peace,
    Blake

  2. Gerald G Says:

    So you found it eh? Aww..thanks for appreciating me, man. That means a lot. Of course you know that it’s a two-way street. Yeah, I miss relating to you with all those times we talked about what happened to our pasts. God really does wonders and if we looked back, we can see how He brought us today in this situation. And I don’t give myself full credit for this. I’m just trying hard to be a servant for the Lord and reaching out to others through this way is the least thing I could do. PS: You have to update your journal. You have an amazing talent of direct communication. You can hammer down to the point. God truly has given you something. I admire that and your poetry. Just to let you know.


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