I’m alive!

Wow… four months! But it’s the new year, so I get to live again. So is my baby.

I have a lot of stuff to talk about. I guess one could say that me not posting anything in a looong while is a good indicator of how I’m doing in many aspects.

It’s kinda weird how today is the first day of my last quarter here. I honestly don’t know what lies ahead of me when I’m done. It’s easy to say that it was all 5 years of preparing for nothing but at the same time I’m kinda hyped on what’s gonna happen next. Who knows. I often think about the graduation jingles and how I am going to pose for the picture in front of the stadium. Hmmm… delicious.

So my only resolution for this year is to stick to it. Little mind of mine needs focus. I confess that I often drift and wander around. Whenever I do, bad things happen. I think it is the bane of procastination, unanswered/late replies whatnot. I figured I need an immediate fix since I’m nearing to enter the “real world” wooo.. That’s one thing.

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Super Five

So my fifth year had officially started (gawd soo old!) as of last week, and I am awfully busy more than ever! Aside studying fulltime with 19 credit hours, I work on the side and sprinkle that with a generous shot of internship, plus a cherry of other school related activities to top it all off. However, this quarter seems to the best one I’ve had so far since I’ve been spending a lot of time with the big J amidst all my hecticness. It’s awesome. I see big changes coming to campus this year!

Grapes are Sour

Two more weeks and the quarter's over. The usual end of the quarter rush is starting to set in. I really want to get this quarter over and done with, not because of academic reasons but I'm looking forward to summer. Speaking of which, summertime is nice on campus. It's quiet. I get to wear sandals and thongs all day long. Did I mention quiet? As in like this quiet:

Yup.

And I can also capture the complete market share for the duck feeding at the lake.

Unfortunate news. Car's beaten up, badly by some drunken monkeys off the parking space outside. I can't wait to find a subletter to take my place, next thing I know I'll find out my front tires would be slashed. Back to ducks, one of the baby ones died 😦 poor thing.

Typing this is rather difficult cause I keep blinking every .24 seconds. Either a stray lint or I think i've accumulated some solidified eye goo somewhere inside my left eye. Meh, I need to change my contact… It kinda makes me appreciate the gift of sight. Can you imagine the people without it? I admire those who have eyesight problems but can still see and appreciate beauty with more than a 20/20 perspective precision.

That's what I'm trying to perpetually change in me. I tend to notice my shortcomings instead of counting and sharing my blessings. So much for our mainstream culture where materialism saturation is apparent. It's too bad that most of us don't realize how fortunate we are in comparison to the other parts of the world. Hopefully, and I know that overtime, we would be able to capture more than "small living" for ourselves, because there's something bigger and more beautiful out there than ourselves.

Eye of the Storm

Everything in my path seems to be in an organized chaotic spin as of late. Although it’s not necessarily a bad thing because I could somehow grab the bull by the horns and lead its rampage off the other direction. I don’t know if it is unconscious oblivion taking over or the awareness of disorganization immunity. Or maybe I’m just plainly apathetic about anything in just about everything.

Ever had these days? It’s two weeks before finals week. I have a three final exams and a super duper time consuming final creative design project due all next week. And I’m three days away from that ‘next week’. The unfortunate matter is that those three days are the days where I’m inclined to do other things that I ought to do otherwise. –I just confused myself.

a.k.a the weekend.

This is supposedly the time where “freaking-out” mode usually sets in. But the funny thing is, I don’t find myself to be worried about anything at all. This could mean that its either real good, or reall baaddd…

I mean, how carefree can you be at the same time withholding all your stresses?

I lack that ability. Instead of firing up my brain of all these tasks for next week, I find myself thinking of something else different.

I wonder if I’m gonna get that internship… I wonder what’s up in God’s sleeve in regards to what I’m going to be in three years… I’m sure dad and step-mom would love their new home, as I’m falling for it too… I hope my effort pays off as I wish bes fren finds a way to continue his grad studies here…When will the state of Ohio legalize ownership of a pet monkey?…Whatever am I gonna do when it comes to the rapidly depleting “Gerald funds”… I should get a job soon…

Bah, I may be over-psychoanalyzing things that I even forget to do the basic commonalities. Papers are scattered everywhere in my bedroom. I should clean this pigsty up.

Speaking of College Majors

“Hi. My name is Gerald. I go to The Ohio State University. I’m a fourth year senior majoring in…. uhh? I dunno…”

On the contrary, I actually do know now what my personal and academic interests are that lead me to finally pick and settle in into a major. It was a long process of trials and errors that finally made me aware that …hey! I gotta graduate soon!

It was just recently I realized that looking back all the way to my freshman year, I was so undecided that I took all these wacky classes in different academic departments that soon I’m turning more and more into a professional student rather than working my way up to graduating with a degree. But then again sense knocked at my head and told me although being a “professional” in school is musely appealing, it’s better off being done with school with a degree earning income than staying in and accumulating student debt. 

Condensed version of my college career:

  • Pre-Health Exploration. Also known as pre-med. Oh yeah, Gerald wanted to be a doctor, haha. Yes, I took a bunch of math and science courses in preparation for a medical profession. Like acne sprout during teenage years, this desire was merely an influx of effort to become somebody who is highly educated, well-respected and highly regarded high-earning professional. I was in for the glory, money, and power. It was my pride, not my desire to use my education and training to become God’s hand to care for and serve the medically ill.
  • Architecture/Art. Eventually I got sick of all the mumbo jumbo that are those math and science courses. Classes in this major was fun. A bunch of artsy-desgnie stuff for me to spend countless hours on, which eventually led me to think that if worse came to worst, I don’t wanna be an gallery-hopping artist drowning in debt drawing caricatures in the streets of New York.
  • Business Administration. Don’t wanna be a Yonker bum? Be a CEO then! Unfortunately, I lost interest because of the chairs in the lecture halls. Freakin’ chairs! Those newly made College of Business’s huge lecture halls came equipped with chairs so unnaturally comfortable they rock rhythmically you feel like a cat in a knick-knack knitting grandma’s lap in a rocking chair by the porch. Add in the professors’ monotonic voices lulls me even deeper into the other side of the underworld dreams.
  • Computer Science. I didn’t want to fall asleep in class. Who would want to sleep during class (assuming one would want to actually learn)? So good-bye business, even though I loved you, I’ve got better things to pursue. So then I challenged myself to analytical thinking of coding, coding, and more coding. Night after night after night. I felt like a mindless automaton. I almost lost it. I had no desire in this major except that money was the motivation for me to enter the field. 😀 Actually this was what I felt in that major for a while:
  • Haha

So all along, I’ve been disillusioned in a belief that I can become what I can be on my own. Ooops, I was wrong. It’s amazing how God can pull us out of the endless loop of self-sustaining desires (power? money? glory?) that we spin around to lead us to our doors uniquely built for each and everyone of us. What lies behind will be a myriad of open possibilities greater than anything ever imagined. It’s just up to us to turn the handle and open. He may bring us to our situation, fate, but it’s ultimately in our choice what to make out of it.

As if you were wondering, I am now completing a degree in Communications with an emphasis on Communication Technology. If time permits, I will then pursue minors (which I already started with) in General Business and Industrial, Interior and Visual Communication Design.

 

“25 – 21”

pittman's winning touchdown

“The inner monkey within me screamed frantically.?

‘Nuff said.

Captain Planet is my Hero

There was just something about last night’s weather that struck me. Right after my Calculus midterm, which was very intruiging in terms of difficulty that I’d rather not talk about for it gives me the hives just thinking about it. It was cold. Windy. The leaves were flying and freaking out everywhere touching my feet. I was wearing flipflops and shorts(because the weather 6 hours ago was around mid-60s) . Then it also rained hardcore that later at night.

I dunno what was I thinking, as usual.

But what I knew was that on my journey from Postle Hall in the Dentistry College on my way alll the way back to my place at 14th, I was cold, shivering, and a little miserable just because of my body’s inability to generate enough heat to keep me warm (thus I envy elephants, cows, sea gargantuans and the like). Then here’s the booya part:

I actually enjoyed the cold weather, the winds’ whistlings, and the leaves encircling my feet as I walk back to my apartment. We don’t always get that kind of weather situation here in Ohio where it’s either hot and sunny or gray and humid. Then the rain with lightning flashes was awesome. Not trying to be corny with my descriptions but they were truly beautiful.

That kept me thinking, Wow.. I could actually appreciate God’s creations despite of my not-so-great condition! I didn’t heard myself grumbling that it was indeed freezing.

To wrap up, it just seems that people are always preoccupied with their own little boxed agenda, too busy to appreciate the nice little things around them. Especially here in corporate America, it’s all about the “me” attitude. It’s all about me. That’s satisfying for me. What’s in it for me. All for me. Me. Me. Me!! I guess some people are just missing out on some of the greatest things in life.  And these things are not “given” to us, I tell you that. Rather, it’s what we give out. The unsolicited, genuine little acts of love and kindness that we give out wholeheartedly.

On the other note, I checked out Chi Alpha Fellowship tonight. Good impression for a first time visitor. Laid back atmosphere, very friendly and welcoming people, and sincere worship. I think I’m gonna stick around for some time.